Just to Make Sure
by Tol Morwen
Summary: Ever since the war ended, a tradition has followed. Every year, the two people most responsible for the death of Voldemort, Harry and Draco, would dig up the body of the Dark Lord, just to make sure he was indeed dead and rotting. [mild slash]


Disclaimer- Nope, don't own it. I mean c'mon! Do I look like JKR? Huh, I wish.  
  
Notes- This takes place years after the war and the light won. Voldemort's dead (YAY!) and Draco and Harry are roommates and considered heroes in the Wizarding World. Also this was inspired by Adrienne's "Grave Matters". Read it. It's very well written and humorous.  
  
Pairing- (really, really, really) mild Draco/Harry (also after reading this, guess who wears the pants in the relationship!)  
  
Just to Make Sure

By Tol Morwen

* * *

"This is so stupid!" Draco yelled angrily.  
  
"Yes Dray," Harry said patiently as he resumed digging. It was midnight in London when Harry and Draco apparated to the local graveyard to dig up the grave of Voldemort. It had been five years since the war ended and the Dark Lord was killed. Yet even after the war's end, many people, including the Order, had expected you-know-who to just suddenly come back. So a tradition was thought up.  
  
Every year, the two people most responsible for the death of Voldemort, would dig up the body of the Dark Lord, just to make sure he was indeed dead and rotting. Yet every year, one out of the two kept complaining about going.  
  
"I could be sleeping right now!" Draco screamed as he leaned against his shovel. "It's after midnight for God's sakes!" He looked intently at Harry who just ignored him. "Well?"  
  
After a few moments of silence, Harry stopped shoveling to glare at Draco. "You know what I'm going to say. We always start arguing the same way, each and every _year_!" He threw down his shovel hard and pointed a finger at the man in front of him. "Do you think I like doing this? Do you think I like waking up at this ungodly hour just to dig and listen to your whining? Do you really think _that_?"  
  
Draco looked scandalized at the outburst. "Potter!" After hearing his name, Harry had the decency to look embarrassed. "Did you take your medication this morning?" he inquired. When the other man didn't answer, he pressed on again. "Potter..."  
  
"Ok so I might have forgotten to take them for a while," Harry answered. He picked up his shovel and began to dig again as he glanced over at Draco from time to time.  
  
"How long Potter?"  
  
"Ohhhh not long. Maybe... two... weeks...."  
  
"Two weeks!" Draco yelled. "Are you out of your mind!?!"  
  
"Dray c'mon! Just help me dig and then we can argue!"  
  
"Fine you bastard," he muttered as he picked up his shovel. Thirty minutes later, Draco assessed that they had dug maybe halfway through. 'Great,' Draco thought sarcastically, 'Only three more feet to go. I knew I should've just punched Sev on the face when he asked me to join the Order.'  
  
"Dray," he heard.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Do you think that maybe we should have our own tradition regarding this?" Draco shot him a confused look. They had done this for years now and he had never mentioned doing something new. Seeing Draco's face, he said, "I mean it. Something new."  
  
"Like what?" With every second that passed, he began to get more interested in what he had to say.  
  
Harry's face reddened and Draco immediately knew that he wanted to do this. It had to be something so vulgar and obscene to get Golden Boy to blush like that. "Well it's sorta like our own way of saying, 'Hey we won't miss you! Hope you're rotting in Hell!'"  
  
"Yes," Draco drawled out, "But what is it?"  
  
Harry's face reddened even further before whispering, "We should piss on his coffin after we dig him out."  
  
Draco shook his head multiple times before letting out, "_What_?" He stuck his finger in his ear as he blamed the fumes coming from Voldemort's dead corpse for _obviously_ causing him to hallucinate. Finally he succumbed to the feeling he felt bubbling inside of him; he burst out laughing.  
  
"I'm not kidding you know!" Harry said exasperated. Listening to the loud laughter for the next few minutes soon made him aggravated. "Oh please! It's not _that_ crazy!" When he didn't get a response, he took his shovel and whacked his partner's left leg with it.  
  
"Ow!" Draco yelled as he clutched his leg and rubbed it gently to dull the pain. A moment later, he stood up and snapped back a fist, fully intending to punch Golden Boy all the way to next year until he realized that he could make up for it on April's Fools. He stepped closer to Harry and held his gaze for what seemed like hours. Finally he let out a grin and said enthusiastically, "Let's do it!"  
  
Harry's eyes widened in shock when he heard Draco. When he thought the idea up just ten minutes ago, he never even expected it to actually be taken into consideration. "What? Why?"  
  
Draco put his arm around Harry and grinned at him. "Because my dear _friend_," he put such an emphasis on "friend" that Harry cringed, "When Ron finds out what we did, he'll act so crazy and it'll be very entertaining."  
  
Harry said the first thing that came into mind. "You're crazy!"  
  
"Yes I am. Now start shoveling you prat! We have about three feet to go."  
  
Harry sighed as Draco began to dig with fervor. 'What did I just get myself into?'  
  
It was about another thirty minutes until one of the shovels hit the coffin with a loud clank. Throwing the shovels aside, the two began to brush away the loose dirt that still clung to the casket. The casket was plain and dirty. Ron often joked that if you-know-who was still alive, he'd blow a gasket at how cheap his coffin and grave was.  
  
Draco looked at Harry expectantly. "Well?"  
  
Harry glared at Draco. "It's your turn to open the damn thing. I did it last time."  
  
The blonde boy let out a high pitched whine. "But Potty, it's so germy and icky and yech! Besides, you know that I just had my nails done!"  
  
Harry punched Draco not too lightly on the shoulder. "You know, if you want something from me, you shouldn't call me names." But the blonde didn't reply. Instead, the two stared at each other for a full five minutes. Then without breaking eye contact with him, Harry pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket and started to read out loud. "I, Draco Malfoy, son of Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy, swear upon all of my worldly possessions that I will open the coffin when it is my turn." Draco groaned out loud and tried to take the piece of paper away from the other man but Potter slapped his advancing hands away. He continued when Draco stopped trying in favor of pouting. "Otherwise Harry Potter can reserve the right to flog me while Ron Weasley tapes it with a video camera. Also, all of my hair will be cut off and my skin will turn pink and-"  
  
"Ok, ok! Bloody Nazi," Draco mumbled as he bent down to open it. "Ew, ew, ew," he kept saying as he pulled it up. Instantly the sight that greeted the two, made both want to vomit. Malfoy averted his head away as he covered his mouth and nose. "Well there he is in all his rotting glory. Fucking bastard."  
  
"Ugh. Close the coffin, will you," Harry pleaded. No matter how many times they did this, he would never get used to it. The smell alone made him want to kill himself! When Draco pulled it down, they both sighed in relief. "So should we do this?" Draco glared at him. "I'll take that as a yes." Both stayed quiet and unmoving for a few moments.  
  
"Should we just do it or say something about him first," Draco asked. "I vote for doing it now." Harry stood quiet. Even though the mad idiot caused a war, killed innocent beings (including his own parents), caused him to grow up too fast, and made him be friends (and then roommates) with Draco Malfoy, he still felt something that he couldn't identify with. Then he realized what it was and thought that he didn't like it.  
  
"Let's say some kind words first," Harry mumbled while he ignored the protests coming from Draco. He stared intently on the spot in the wood where he knew the head would be. "Voldemort... Tom... I hope that right now... you're rotting in the seventh circle of Hell! I hate you! If I had the chance, I'd beat you with a porcupine before stabbing you to death! And guess what! I'm alive and not you! HA!" With a big smile on his face, he looked at Draco. "Your turn."  
  
"Should've taken your bloody medication," he mumbled before turning to meet the casket. "You know. It's sorta ironic. You always kept saying to the Deatheaters that you were invincible, yet now you're in a small box waiting for us to piss on you. Huh. Ok let's do it!"  
  
Looking away from each other, the two unzipped their pants and began... relieving themselves. But a moment after finishing, a bright light was shown on Draco's face. "Hey stop that you-" he got a good look at the person with the flashlight. "Oh crap."  
  
"Not again," Harry whined.

* * *

Harry sat quietly on the bottom of the bunk beds as Draco walked back and forth impatiently in the cell. "Hey! Hey!" Draco yelled when a passing officer holding a clipboard walked by. Draco shoved his arms through the bars to try and grab a hold of the cop, but was too slow. When he was sure no one was around, he turned towards Harry with a burning fire in his eyes. "I can't believe you!"  
  
Harry looked anywhere but at Draco. Tired of being ignored, Draco walked over and smacked his roommate upside the head. "Ow! That hurt!"  
  
"Good you prat!" Draco seethed. "Every year you forget to bribe the official! And every year we land in jail for grave robbing and disturbing the peace. I get the stuff and plan everything! You have only _one_ job. _ONE_ job! And that is to bribe the official!! BRIBE!"  
  
"Oh please Dray," Harry said. "Every year it's the same thing. I wouldn't be surprised if Hermione or Albus already has the money to bail us out. They're probably just waiting for our call. After they come, we'll just obliviate the cops and be home soon."  
  
Draco opened his mouth to yell again but no sound would come out. He tried again yet still failed. Finally he walked over to the bars and screamed for a cop to come. Finally after five minutes of shouting, one came over to try and placate him. The officer thought that the blonde man would plead or at least proclaim his innocence, but instead was shocked by Draco's demand. "I want another cell!"  
  
"What?" the cop asked bewildered.  
  
"You heard me!" Draco yelled. The cop backed away a few steps when he saw Draco's eye twitch and the vein on his forehead throb painfully.  
  
Regaining his exposure, the man looked over to Harry to see him shaking his head in pity. Clearing his throat, he said, "Listen. All the other cells are full. In fact, only one more cell is available, and that one has a drunkard who thinks that he's a 16 year old girl named Susan."  
  
"I pick the drunkard," Draco stated. The man took one look at Draco and promptly ran away. "Hey wait!" Draco arm snaked his arm between the bars and shook his fist at the retreating officer. "At least give me my one phone call!"  
  
Draco let out a sound of exasperation before walking over and flopping down besides Harry on the bed. Harry put his hand on Draco's shoulder to try and soothe him. He never expected hugs and kisses but he was surprised when Draco's elbow impacted harshly to his gut. Harry keeled over to the ground, clutching his stomach. Draco smirked.  
  
"I think that this is a good way to end our anniversary. Right Potter?"  
  
Harry's let out a loud, painful groan. "Yes, Dray."_Finito_


End file.
